EDITORIAL: Talk to your children about school safety, gun violence

Published 3:00 pm Saturday, August 13, 2022

Earlier this week a lockdown was initiated at a local school as a precaution after officials received information that a student brought a gun to school. No gun was found and the school day resumed as planned following the lockdown. A devastating reality of the world we live in is that parents of school-age children must grapple with these kinds of issues and have tough conversations surrounding school violence. 

Although difficult, these conversations are important and necessary to have. 

Here are a few suggestions for parents offered by the nonprofit Save the Children to get the conversation started:

Start the conversation. Be honest. 

It may never seem like the right time to start a discussion about school shootings with your child. But, not talking about it can lead to feelings of worry and confusion while also opening the door to misinformation.

Emphasize safety. Avoid graphic details. 

Start by asking your child what they already know about school shootings. Allow them to express their concerns and ask questions. Reassure them and be honest – don’t lie to them. Address any inaccurate concerns that they may have (e.g., school shootings happen frequently; children are not safe at school).

Look for leaders and discuss their role.

Remind your child that adults — teachers, leaders and first responders — are working every day to keep them safe at school. The emergency drills that they may practice in the classroom are an example of this. Talk about people who are helping.

Watch for signs of trauma.

It’s normal for children to be a little anxious about school shootings and emergency drills. If children appear extremely fearful, angry or withdrawn during or following an exercise, seek professional help. Involve mental health professionals in the development and implementation of drills and exercises.

Make it a normal day. Try to maintain a typical schedule so kids feel the safety of regularity. But feel free to indulge in extra comfort and togetherness.

Most importantly — listen. Listen to their fears and concerns. Allow them to express their thoughts and feelings.

Lastly, emphasize the importance of the mantra “see something, say something.” So many recent acts of violence at schools revealed red flags when analyzed in hindsight.  

Your children may also have questions about why guns are so prevalent in our society or what can be done to prevent gun violence at schools. This can be an opportunity for you to fully engage with them about your opinions and beliefs on the topic. Consider researching state laws together and reading arguments from legislators who supported or voted against the legislation. Reach out to friends and family in law enforcement, emergency services, teachers or administrators for their thoughts on the practical, legal and historical issues. Learning together is an excellent way to bond and a way to regain a feeling of control in a frightening moment.

These conversations will never be easy but they are certainly necessary.