MATTHEW BROWN: I write the columns …

Published 5:19 pm Friday, November 15, 2024

Song lyrics make for good subheads.

“Squirrels. All we really are is squirrels.”

You have to be a fan of novelty records to remember that.

To be quite honest, I completely forgot about the unexpected and unwelcome visitor to the Georgia-Ole Miss game last weekend. Yes, I do remember the timid woodland creature scooting around the sidelines, staffers scurrying after it to see if it had proper credentials. I was then reminded of it a couple of days later.

Such occurrences as an effortless touchdown drive led by a little-used backup quarterback and INT No. 12 were on my mind more as I proceeded to a local playoff soccer match.

“Happy feet, I’ve got those happy feet.”

Hamstring, yes. I never said anything about ankles.

What’s worse? That aforementioned touchdown drive engineered by Ole Miss left-handed redshirt freshman Austin Wallace or the fact that Jaxon Dart hobbled back on the field later and was virtually untouchable?

And five field goals. You do not beat the No. 2 or 3 team in the country if you feel the need to send out your field goal kicker five times. Georgia kicks five field goals in a game, and all the post-game talk is about why the Bulldogs can’t finish in the ‘red zone.’

Just hit me, you kick field goals with your feet, so the subhead still works! Like this one.

“You dropped the bomb …”

O.K., the football doesn’t explode when it hits the ground, otherwise there would be Tropicana roof-sized holes on turfs from Austin to Atlanta.

What did we learn about Georgia Bulldog football in Oxford? Only that our beloved golden team leads the nation in dropped passes. In fact, they took over the lead from UAB during the course of action with the Rebels.

So, in keeping with the tradition of ‘blame the grown-ups,’ let’s look at the list and see who is in charge of the wide receivers. That would be … James Coley? You mean 2019 offensive coordinator James Coley? Pretty much ruined Jake Fromm’s legacy as a quarterback James Coley? Then went to Texas A&M, where I don’t think his staff position was ever determined James Coley? And, like a squirrel, found his way back to the Bulldog staff as assistant head coach James Coley?’

“Home sweet home”

Nope, Georgia’s not going to Rocky Top. It’s Sanford Stadium for the rest of the regular season.

The Bulldogs can beat Tennessee. There’s a faction, though, that wants to say Georgia will beat Tennessee. Anyone say the same thing about Ole Miss a week ago?

Some say Georgia didn’t run the ball in that lackluster loss. Funny how that statement’s both true and not true, because there were more run plays out of the offense than passes. Again, ratings for The News on E.T.N. were not high. Overall there was a 1.8 share (still beats ‘Toddlers and Tiaras’).

Somebody else has a chance to return home, even though it’s all speculation on my part. My success rate on these guesses is about the same as that recent rushing attack.

Brian Bohannon is a former Georgia football player (wide receiver in fact) and now the former head coach of Kennesaw State University football. It’s a classic case of one saying “I was fired” and another saying, “We gave him a chance to resign, and I thought he did.” I suppose if they are telling you they want to go in another direction in leadership, does it matter what you say?

Just to recap, Bohannon was the first football coach in Kennesaw State history and became a Big South Conference power winning the Championship Subdivision Coach of the Year once and 11 or more games four times since 2015.

But three years ago the Owls left the Big South and have gone 9-20 since. This year’s been particularly bad, the first year in the Bowl Subdivision in Conference USA. A headline-making victory over Liberty is all there is to show for it.

Before this job, Bohannon followed Paul Johnson as an assistant coach in three locations (Georgia Southern, Navy and Georgia Tech). He coached receivers, quarterbacks and even defensive backs. Three times during his stint at Kennesaw State, Georgia Southern made a coaching change. If there ever was talk between the two about that job, I don’t know. Georgia Tech seemed to have eyes on a different kind of football after the option-happy Johnson retired and went with Geoff Collins, so I don’t know if Bohannon was even a blip in their search.

Bohannon is from Macon and played for UGA before Kirby Smart played there. Is Smart even thinking about offseason staff moves right now, or will that wait until after playing the Volunteers? Mike Bobo’s popularity as offensive coordinator seems to wane with every setback.

Only speculation.

“We’re caught in a trap”

Kennesaw State football doesn’t generate a lot of talk. Neither does Georgia State, Mercer or Georgia Southern. The talk this week should be about Georgia Tech pulling off an upset of then-top 5 Miami at home in front of a huge crowd.

This is the first real result that shows us the impact of a 12-team playoff. For Miami, the Atlantic Coast Conference championship and a top-four CFP seed is still well in play with just the one conference loss. Losing to the Yellow Jackets at this point of the season is like stepping on a mouse trap. Playing at Syracuse (6-3 under former Smart assistant Fran Brown) after Thanksgiving could be a bear trap.

For Georgia Tech … nice victory, one that can’t be blamed on a Mario Cristobal brain freeze like last year. But it won’t send it to the ACC title game with one more league game left. Talk about a log jam, GT is one of eight ACC teams with three conference losses.

Confidence booster? Absolutely. Brent Key was the right choice for head coach. This is the sixth time he’s seen the Jackets beat a team ranked at the time (remember, FSU was No. 10 going to Ireland). They will look for lucky No. 7 in Athens on Black Friday, and Key is reported to have a hatred for The Red & Black that rivals Steve Spurrier.

Georgia’s playoff fate will be sealed or secured by then. Georgia Tech will want to drag us down to Orlando and make us watch them play TCU in the Pop Tarts Bowl then stick around while we slosh through a game with Iowa in the Citrus Bowl.

(If at all possible, give pet adoption a try through the Animal Rescue Foundation in Milledgeville. Donations of any kind are also in great need. ARF is a little red building at 711 S. Wilkinson St., and more information is available at animalrescuefoundation.org.)